Dear Heart Team,
It’s important to remember the difference between:
Ego blame and shame
In order to clarify and understand the difference between an observation and a blame and shame, it’s important to get honest with yourself, what your feeling and why your feeling that. Understanding and listening to yourself will offer you valuable intuitive and emotional clues, to help you discern your true feeling and deeper motives.
So let’s get honest – it takes a deeper level of self awareness to recognise if you are sitting in your heart – which feels like neutral wisdom with NO emotional charge. Or sitting in a blame and shame state of mind ( about yourself or others), which has an emotional judgmental charge, a this is right or wrong feeling; that is what your ego feels like.
Another way to tell the difference between a healthy observation of “I see you doing x, y and z”and “I can’t believe you are doing x, y and z!”, is to acknowledge the conscious and unconscious motives underneath the observation and communication. Are you trying to be “ right?” and or, do you feel wronged? Are you using the observation, or directing the observation to make a point about something?Hello, That’s your ego talking!
Good to know.
This is very different from when you can observe something, a person, an event with neutrality.
For example, a pure observation could be, “Today she wore a green cardigan”. This is an observation. It’s neutral, there nothing emotional about the stamenent.
If we go on to say, “ Today she wore a green cardigan. It is exactly like the one her best friend wears. I think she is copying her”. Now we have what starts out as an observation and by the third sentence is actually a value judgment, full of blame and shame.
“I think she is …” is an emotionally charged statement which make the cardigan wearing behaviour wrong. That is now an ego judgement that is not based on truth. Even if our fictional person did wear a green cardigan and she actually was “ copying “ her best friend- it is not our place to make a judge.
Unless we are God or the Universe- which we are not- who are we to judge each other? Exactly! Let’s NOT do this.
A more evolved way of being is to practice staying in your heart space, to neutrally observe – sometimes passionately observe – but mostly observe without attach to an outcome, that is how to observe from your heart space.
Remember if you are pointing the finger – the thumb is pointing back at you.
Karmically we don’t want to create judgments of ourselves or others. Our soul journey this lifetimes is asking us to become the Observer and evolve beyond the egoic mind.
If someone has done something you feel hurt about- then recognise your hurt – express your hurt – but remember – from a Soul/ energetic truth point of view – no one has done anything to you. They are only holding up a love mirror and showing you where you can love yourself more.
If this concept feels hard and impossible to comprehend with the hurt your feeling right now, then please get external professional support to help you move from a place of judgment, blame and shame back into a neutral heart space of truth, clarity and peace within.
With blessings and love for all
photo credit: mkwlsn via empty space – thank you!